10 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression, I asked, “Why me?”
Hi, my name is Winnee Raplin. Over the last decade, I’ve had different diagnoses, namely Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.
While my peers were busy building their dream careers, finding love and having the best moments of their lives, 1 was busy going in and out of the hospital, going for reviews every other week to test my blood because of the newly prescribed medications or the medication dosage increase.
At the same time, l’d met countless private and government counsellors (religious and non-religious), occupational therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist to treat my mental illness, hence the different diagnoses.
When the therapies and medications didn’t work, I ask this question again, “Why me?”.
Finding the right therapy and medication is like finding the right shampoo for your hair. It wasn’t until I started Acceptance and Commitment Therapy that I finally see some improvement. I later realized that therapy is an educational journey that everyone should embark on. I learned about mindfulness, grounding, emotional regulation and etc.
Reintegration into society was the toughest challenge of my life. Hiding at home for too long had caused me to fail to function as a normal human being, l’d developed social anxiety, got overwhelmed easily by people. I couldn’t stand their stares. Whenever I went to any social functions, I would try to regain composure by hiding in the toilet, taking deep breaths. I quit 7 jobs because I felt like my colleagues and bosses were spying on me and I couldn’t stand the stressful long-hour working time.
However, my life started to slowly change when I brave myself to leave the comfort of my shell, literally.
I turned my passion for baking into a business. At the same time, I joined Toastmasters, a fun and safe platform to hone one’s public speaking, communication and leadership skills. Whenever I tell my stories, I felt seen, heard and empowered. I slowly became open about my mental illness. Because of that, I have had many friends who came to me and shared similar experiences.
Apparently, I am not alone in this world.
So, why me? Because I have a voice, and I’m using this voice to inspire people like me out there.
