One day I tried to remember how I ended up on the bed in the psychiatric ward. Why was I here again? Did I go to the emergency department intoxicated with tons of psychiatric medications (PM)? Yes, that was the reason. I got sick and tired of trying out so many PMs. It was not easy to find the right combination because my diagnosis kept changing, and I am so prone to the side effects. Oh, dear! The side effects. The worst was hallucinations for me. I tried to climb the bedroom wall because I thought I was Spider-Woman! It was a terrifying experience (an isolated incident).
One thing I learned about PM is that even though two people have the same diagnosis, it does not mean that they are given the same PM and the same dosage. The psychiatrists have to weigh many things before they decide which is the suitable PM and the right dosage. PM can be complicated and overwhelming. Some would say that psychiatrists should explain all the side effects, which my psychiatrist did. But there are pros and cons of knowing the side effects of the medications given. At the end after the 3rd (I think) PM I did not want to know the side effects unless it was fatal. I did not look up online or do my research on the PM within that two-week period. After the two-week period and if the side effects were getting bad, then only I would do my research and get back to my psychiatrist. After more than 10 years of trials and errors with PM, my psychiatrist and finally found the right combination. Whatever bad experiences that peers face with a PM, peers should never ever give up and continue trying other PMs. Not many would agree on taking PM after they have tried many.
But please do not give up.
Not forgetting the same thing goes with psychiatrists. If the first psychiatrist you meet is not suitable for you, go and seek treatment from the other psychiatrists. There are many psychiatrists in Malaysia now.
Go to therapies too. Having a mental illness is not only about PM. It is a holistic journey to recovery. Bio, Psycho, Socio and Spiritual. All 4 are needed for a better journey to recovery. Not forgetting to attend mental health workshops and do some research (read books, watch documentaries, meet other peers).
I wish all the best to all the peers out there!
